Senator Big Game

Senator Big Game

How to play the worst game you can stop procrastination

Disorganized desks, closets, garages, and file cabinets are often not what they seem. The procrastinator is set in the cleaning or clearing a little space, but that is not the main problem. It is the symbol of another deeper issue. Over the years I have helped people discover the sometimes sad or frightening concern that lies at the heart of your procrastination.

Doris was so fed up with that messy desk finally asked for my help. No matter how many times she promised to clean and clean what it found a lot of other things came first. "There is a great desktop. I should be able to finish the job in a few hours, "she complained. I began to play What if the game with Doris to get to the bottom of your problem.

"What are you afraid will happen if you clean your desk?" I asked. "I feel better," he said. That's what undecided they say. "So what are you afraid will happen?" "It looks better." "And then what are you afraid will happen?" "I'll have time to clean the case of a book." I pushed asking, "so what are you afraid will happen?" After each their returns until the light shone. "If I clean my desk, I will have to clean my life and I have to divorce my husband," she said. What Where next? What does a messy desk has to do with marriage?

I call this process of thought "logrolling." Exchange of favors is a term used in politics to describe how politicians vote trade for mutual benefit. For example, if a state senator needs support for his bill on the improvement of transport, which can communicate with the other state senator proposed a bill on agriculture. Create a piece of legislation including both transport and agriculture, and push it through, although these two areas have nothing to do with each other.

When procrastinators unconsciously join two issues are completely different are paralyzed and can not solve either one. Jessica is always complaining that he could not find the perfect man and depressed. She had divorced five years ago, and her ex-husband was happily remarried, but Jessica was still some of his clothes in his closet.

She wanted desperately to clean the closet, but could not get around to it. It turned out his unconscious wish that your ex would come back to her, and she was still symbolic life for this chance keeping some of their belongings. Once he realized that a cabinet had nothing to do with mourning the loss of his marriage, she was able to get rid of their things and restore order to your closet.

Ted remodeled his whole house, but six months later still had no knobs kitchen cabinets. I was exasperated and angry with himself for avoiding work. When he finished his story of pain persisted in asking what if questions. After a rounds there was a long pause. Then Ted said, "If you complete my house I will have more excuses to invite people over and socialize." "And then what are you afraid will happen, "he insisted. He realized why he was dragging his feet when he dropped out," Then I'll have to get married again! " The irrationality of such thinking is amazing, but all of us at some point.

One way to push beyond the impasse is to play the game What happens to you or a friend that the grill. Go to a quiet place where you can be free from interruptions. Ask yourself this question: "What will I have fear if you complete this project or to reach my goal? "To write or say aloud the first thing that comes to mind. Do not judge yourself on your answer. Ask again, making sure use the word "fear" because that's what this is all about.

Keep going until you have run our of the easy answers like, "I to be happy "or" I'll be healthy. "Eventually you'll come to a windfall. The answer that comes to mind may have nothing to do with the project being wasting time again. That's the point. Desks have nothing to do with marriage and the kitchen has nothing to do with commitment. Any exchange of favors fair.

About the Author

Gloria Arenson, MFT, treats stress, anxiety, trauma, phobias, and compulsions. She has authored How to Stop Playing the Weighting Game, A Substance Called Food, Born To Spend, Five Simple Steps to Emotional Healing, Freedom At Your Fingertips and Procrastination Nation.

http://www.GloriaArenson.com

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How to play the worst game you can stop procrastination

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